Today as I was loading my film onto the developing reels in the darkroom I realized that is what it must be like to be blind. You are in a room without any light at all, or else the light could expose your film. You can't see your hand in front of your face. You have to feel around in the dark for your film, your reels, your spindles .. your scissors, bottle opener for popping the film open .. and then get it all on the reel and in the developing tank without being able to see a thing.
It's not easy and when I can't find something I am feeling around for, I start to get panicky, even though I know it's just right on the table in front of me somewhere. I kept reminding myself, "It's a room only big enough for 2 people .. you are the only one in here .. you can do this without the light on .. it's ok .. " I like complete and total darkness but only when there is sleep involved, or when Paul is with me. Otherwise I feel lost. It's very tempting to reach for the light switch .. but if you do, your film is ruined completely.
One roll of film came out GREAT today .. and the other roll was shit. =/ It sucks because I worked a lot harder on the roll that was shit.
I read a sign today at school that said, "A bad day of photography is better than a good day at work" .. hmm, I guess that is kinda true.
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Made a 95 on my math test. That's 3 A's in a row. I don't think I've made A's in math since .. ever. First grade? I don't know .. it's been a long time.