Clever.

*UPDATE*

Tonight after work, I paid $2.99 per gallon of gas.

Even to fill up my little Metro now is becoming the most daunting task.

Something's gotta give. I fear what kind of prices summer is going to bring.

Hello, ramen noodles! Just kidding, sort of. I mean, it *could* come to that.

Want to see what other cities are paying? It's kinda interesting. Click here.

Ameautiful ...

Paulie is the greatest .. for many MANY reasons ..

and one of those reasons is because he always makes sure I come home after a long day with an email from him to read before I go to bed.

The subject line of the one he sent tonight was "My ameautiful girlfriend!"

And inside:

"Ameautiful = beautiful & amazing at the same time =D"

SweetSweetSweetSweetSweet ..

I love you Paulie!

What I'm Reading.

And it's actually made me laugh out loud a few times.

Reading Material.

I was scanning my list of favorites tonight and ran across Bree's (aka RythmicBoi's) entry, "The Mountain and the Ghost."

Gave me chills in all kinds of ways.

Read it.

Altruism isn't necessarily dead.

I've been seeing and dealing with such negative, shitty people lately that I guess it's about time I posted something which shows *occassionally* there is still good in the world. Few & far between instances of good, but still .. good.

*sigh* I even feel kinda funny posting about it, but here goes.

A customer at the restaurant stopped me this evening and said, "Hey, can I ask you something?"

Immediately I figured he was going to complain about his food, say something rude, or ask for a manager due to some problem .. y'know, the usual.

I was taken aback when he pointed to a couple sitting off in a corner.

He said, "Is that your table? Are you helping them?"

I said, "Yes .. "

He then handed me a $20 bill and said, "Let me pay for their meal. Keep the change."

He left. He didn't ask me how much their bill was, but it was well under $20.

He didn't tell me he was a friend or a relative, or ask me to give them any sort of message at all.

When they finished eating, I told them a man in a blue shirt and baseball cap had picked up their bill.

They just smiled and shook their heads in surprised disbelief.

They left me a $5 tip.

I'll never know the whole story. But they knew the whole story, and that just made the whole thing kinda neat.

McFatAss.

Now you can make your own home-cooked McDonalds favorites.

A perfect way to keep those arteries clogged and one foot planted firmly in the grave!

See for yourself.

My personal fave is the part about seasoning the burgers, and how adding more seasoning will "float away the fat," and that Quarter pounders require even MORE seasoning.

Float it away to where?

Float it right to your ginormous ass, yo!

*sigh* Keeping people fat and fed.

Everybody should go watch "SuperSize Me," and LEARN something from it. You can buy it used from amazon.com starting at $5.

Isn't that about the price of a Supersize Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese Extra Value Meal?

I just felt like saying ..

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

-Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken.

... but it's better if you read the whole thing ..

RIP Proof.

Makes that video "Like Toy Soldiers" all too real now. Sucks.

I hate when the good ones leave too soon.

Rant.

An inch of asscrack peeking out overtop your low-rise jeans is NOT sexy. I don't care if you are tiny or tan. It's not cute, it's not cool, it's plain fucking gross. Pull up your pants or invest in a belt.

Oh, and your pink Razr phone doesn't cover up the fact that you are still ugly and ordinary.

And this isn't BigTime, USA; you still only live in Shittown.

So there. Get a clue.

* * *

disclaimer: I initially wanted to write a rant about how badly I was treated yesterday at work by an after-church crowd of "Christians", but I can't be bothered right now. Visit again after another Sunday rolls around. I'm sure there will be many more zany, madcap incidents involving the lovely, wholesome, god fearing fellowshippers and their hilarious (frightening) highjinx, since, it happens every fucking Sunday. No exceptions.

and if you happen to be one of those fellowshippers who love to torment those of us who work on your "sabbath," you should be damn ashamed of yourself. If you're actually gonna pretty yourself up and spend the evening at church, throw a few bucks in the offering plate, and smile and pretend you have a brotherhood with your fellow fellowshippers (who you will most likely badmouth on your way out the chapel door) LEARN SOMETHING WHILE YOU ARE THERE. Last I heard, there were these rules like .. "be kind to others" .. "Treat others as you would like to be treated", and all that stuff you've heard for years and years that obviously never stuck in your small-minded brains.

Don't come into my place of business, force me to run and sweat my ass off so you can stuff yourself on pizza (doesn't the Bible say something about gluttony as well?) and then throw down a $3 tip to somehow patronize my serving your table of eight fellowshippers $55 worth of food. (I know they don't teach the 15% stuff at church. Ask if you'd like to learn, I'd be happy to teach, or, another good rule of thumb is just to double the tax.)

Judge not, lest ye be judged yo.

Fun.

I don't know what it means. It was kinda fun.

Strip Generator. Drag and Drop your own original comics.

But if that's not quite interesting enough, then head on over to the BooBah Zone.

Abra-Cadaver.

Ok, so today there was a Pre-Med day held at my college. I'm not a pre-med student, but I do have a co-worker who is .. and she notified me excitedly upon my arrival this morning that the cadavers were on display, and asked if I wanted to go see them.

So, I did. Because I've always wanted to, but I also had this image in my head that it would resemble what you see in morgue or autopsy scenes in movies, right? Body propped up on table in cold room .. low bluish lighting .. hushed tones .. body pretty much intact except maybe the chest cracked open and peeled back to view inside .. paperlike, noxious but somehow peaceful dead face ..

Umm, well ... this wasn't anything like that.

The body was laid out in normal lighting and surrounded by potential pre-med students. The smell of formaldehyde filled the room and the hallway outside. The body, which was headless, was sprawled on the table looking much like a raw Thanksgiving turkey, only .. human shaped. Where the head *should* have been was just a deep, black hole into nothingness. JUST like that Thanksgiving turkey. Perfect place to put the stuffing.

Where the skin would have been was not quite what I would call muscle, but more like a veal or chicken liver pate .. I know, I keep using food references, but .. that's how it was!

A student leading the exhibit reached inside the cadaver, groped around, and then produced the stomach .. which to my surprise is not nearly as big as I thought it would be, but, according to the student, extremely stretchy.

THEN, the cadaver's skinless, skeletal hand jolted up from it's raw, wrinkly, pate-and-turkey-meat-like body and grabbed the pre-med student around the neck and proceeded to strangle the shit out of him while people trampled each other running mad from the lab screaming in bloody terror .... huh?

Oh .. wait .. that didn't happen.

All in all it wasn't as macabre as I thought it would be. It was actually very intriguing to see inside a human body. A headless one at that.

I'll let you know if any nightmares arise from this.

Little. Yellow. Different.

Sick .. again. I was just sick a month ago, but it didn't heal up right evidentally, so ..

Day before yesterday I had a migraine headache, and then yesterday I spent all day with body aches, pains, and a tickle in my throat.

When I woke up this morning, my throat hurt so bad I could hardly even drink water.

So, I headed off to the student health clinic and the doctor put me on Ketek. He said it's new and in testing stages here, and that the most common side effect is blurry vision. Not cool since I have an art history quiz tomorrow and my typography class at night.

He also said it can make your pee look like root beer. Lovely. So, does that mean it's gonna be bubbly, or it's gonna be brown?

Oh, was that too much information?